So today has been a bit of any eye opener for me on so many levels.
Today I stepped out of my comfort zone. I went to a local Mums in Business Association meeting. I met A LOT of like minded women all of who are at varying levels of building and running their own businesses. As I’ve said previously, I hide really well behind my computer and social anxiety has real grips on me which might come as a surprise to a lot of people especially considering my day job as a nurse. Getting out of the door this morning was hard. I forced myself out of bed. I stressed and panicked about my clothes, my face, my hair. I nearly wrecked my car on route but I walked through the door. I did so whilst physically shaking, within 5 mins of being there I’d visited the bathroom twice because I was so anxious that I might smell. I sprayed myself with so many combinations of perfume and body spray that I spent the next three hours knowing a smelt badly of cats (sorry ladies sat closely to me). I thought I was doing fine. I thought I was ok. See I think I minimise the extent of my anxiety a lot. I hide behind a persona, a sort of mask whilst I’m in work but when I’m not there it falls off.
The meeting was amazing but as soon as it ended I wanted to run. I stood there like a nervous child very aware of how I must of looked. The founder of MIBA asked me if I was anxious. At that point out of no where I felt my cheeks flush and my eyes fill with tears which I pushed back. I don’t know where it came from but BAM, I realised that maybe I’m not as ok as I thought. Maybe I need to start taking “ME” and MY mental and emotional well being more seriously.
I took Away so much from today’s meeting but this evening I’m kind of an emotional wreck for NO reason, BUT my light bulb moment happened today.
HOW CAN I GROW MY BUSINESS IF I DON‘T WORK ON GROWING MYSELF AT THE SAME TIME.
Ive spent my life worrying about being not liked and when I want to grow a business where people are paying for items that I have made then I guess it makes sense that there would be anxiety around my items being good enough etc. So I guess the only way is up ! I have to set some very Firm goals both personally and in relation to my business and I NEED to work on them both
at the same time!
So I’m sorry for a long waffling post but I guess there’s a good chance that if I’m feeling this way then others maybe too and it’s always good to know you’re not alone.